Ashlie, an Inspiration

Most of my stories on this blog will hopefully be funny or amusing. If they bring a tear to your eye, hopefully it will be one of laughter. Today's blog is a little different. Today, I'd like to share a story about a really inspirational young lady. Her name is Ashlie.

Three weeks ago, Ashlie was a normal, happy, 22-year-old mother of a one-year-old son, Blake. Originally from my hometown in Indiana, they were living on an Army base in Kansas. Ashlie worked, took care of Blake and helped her mom, Lesamarie, who is struggling to regain her health after surviving surgery for Stage IV Breast Cancer. She's still not out of the woods. So Ashlie has been a huge help to her mom.

On March 11, Ashlie's sister came running downstairs to tell their mother that Ashlie suddenly couldn't feel her hands or her feet. Lesamarie, being a nurse, decided that a trip to the ER was in order. So they went. Once there, the doctors only wanted to do a CT Scan and an X-ray, which didn't show much of anything. Lesamarie had to fight, as a mom and a nurse, to get an MRI done on her daughter. By the time they decided to do the MRI, Ashlie could no longer feel her arms and the numbness was moving up her shins.

A few hours later, a team of ashen-faced doctors entered Ashlie's ER room. Lesamarie saw their faces and slumped in her chair. She knew something was very, very wrong. She was right.

Ashlie had a three-inch tumor growing out of her spine and wrapping around it in a very dangerous way. They decided to medi-vac her to a major hospital, Stormont-Vail, in Topeka, where they might be able to help her. Lesamarie tried to stay calm for her child, but as a mama and as a nurse, she was terrified. This was her baby! And they were truly headed into the unknown.

At Stormont-Vail, they met Dr. W, a top-notch neurosurgeon who took one look at Ashlie's MRI and got very serious with the family. Dr. W, said Lesamarie, was an amazing doctor, brusk and direct, but she wouldn't have had it any other way. He told the truth and he didn't sugar coat it. If a neurosurgeon ever saw one of these in his career, it was the only one. This tumor was extremely rare and dangerous and the surgery to remove it was the same. He'd never performed it, but neither had most neurosurgeons in the world!

He told them the awful truth. If Ashlie even survived the surgery, if Ashlie could breath on her own after the surgery, those would be miracles. If Ashlie got movement back after the surgery, it would be another miracle. Images of Christopher Reeve entered all of our minds.

A very faithful family with many faithful friends, prayers began in earnest and Ashlie headed into a ten-hour surgery on St. Patrick's Day. As I texted back and forth with her mother during the surgery, I felt so helpless. We all did. What could I do other than send texts and wall posts on Facebook telling her that I loved her and I believed her daughter would survive this thing?!

After talking to some wonderful friends, who were following Ashlie's story on my Facebook wall, I started a "Helping Hands" community called Ashlie's Angles (roll over for the link). This allowed friends (and even friends of friends) to join a community and try to figure out how to help this amazing family. They need meals, gas money, help moving, financial assistance, a new wheelchair accessible van - they need a lot of help!

Ashlie survived the surgery and was breathing on her own. And we are all so very thankful. But even two weeks later, she has no feeling or movement below her neck. Three weeks ago, she was running around, tossing her son in the air, completely unaware of the tumor growing on her spine.

Now, she is a quadriplegic, learning how to live in a wheelchair. There is still hope of feeling and movement returning. There will always be hope!!! But Ashlie's at a wonderful rehabilitation center, Madonna, in Lincoln, Nebraska. And her doctors, nurses and specialists are helping her figure out her new way of life. Her doctor is in a wheelchair too - a great source of motivation for Ashlie.

What is so amazing and special about Ashlie is her attitude and sense of humor. She smiles and laughs with her mother and sister, and especially her son. She has a new application that allows voice to text, so she's back to texting everyone and posting updates on Facebook.

She even called me to thank me for a gift I sent that sort of backfired. But her sense of humor saved the day. I got this adorable gift of inspirational "sticks" that you can pull out each day. Out of 350 sticks, the very first one her mother pulled out for her said, "You have two hands - one to help yourself and one to help others." Are you kidding me?!?!??!?!

Ashlie and her mom just looked at each other, looked at Ashlie's hands and burst into hysterical laughter. As Ashlie said to me on the phone, between fits of giggles, "I mean, what am I supposed to do? I have to laugh!! It's just too freakin' funny! It's either laugh or cry, and I ain't cryin'!" And THAT has been the theme here. Laugh, laugh, laugh. Ashlie's spirits are amazing. And she is a true inspiration.

Yes, Ashlie has her down moments. Of course she does. There was the Facebook status that said she was tired of feeling like cement. And today's status let us all know that being a quadriplegic is a lot more complicated than she ever expected. And yet, we get photos and updates that let us know that Ashlie's spirit of determinism and optimism are alive and well.

Her mom and her son are with her in Nebraska as she explores her new way of life. Blake is her little sunshine and Lesamarie is an amazing example of courage and power through hardship and health crises.

Her friends have now established a PayPal Account (roll over for the link) for donations. Yes, it does require you to get a PayPal account, but they are really hurting right now. Ashlie and Lesamarie are both Army wives (although LM is now single - yay and Ashlie's husband just returned from active duty). This is WAY more than they ever expected or planned for, emotionally AND financially. If you would like to donate, even just $5 would make a difference right now, and it would be so appreciated. I wanted to start an actual non-profit but was horrified and surprised at how expensive that is! So I'm going to donate the intial money I was going to use to start the non-profit to the PayPal account instead.

Ashlie will be at Madonna Rehabilitation for about eight weeks. After that? We shall see. As you can see, she's got lots of help. Her new wheelchair moves when she blows into a hose. (Blake is helping her here). She's got a lot to learn. And there is a lot of adjustment ahead for everyone. Little Blake is confused and Ashlie aches to hold him.

Ashlie has taught me about grace. She has handled this trauma, something that would send a lot of people to the depths of depression, with dignity, charm, and bravery. This has also taught me perspective. When I have run into little troubles in the past few weeks, believe me, they haven't even phased me. I just think of Ashlie and her amazing attitude!

And if this brought a tear to your eye, as it does mine nearly every day, do something nice for someone in need. Do something nice for Ashlie and donate a little bit, if you can. Help her mom bring her breakfast that isn't hospital food!! That will definitely make her smile and brighten her day! And if you can make a larger donation, well that would be appreciated too. Every bit helps!

Keep rockin' Ashlie! I think you are an amazing woman, an inspiration, and a reminder to us all about how to handle ourselves in times of trouble.